Effort > Winning
When did practice become a spectator sport?
When I was a kid, parents dropped us off at practice and came back for games. Practice wasn't a performance, it was where mistakes were welcome, where we got messy, tried new things, and learned. Lately, though, practices across all youth sports, including jiu jitsu, are starting to look like mini tournaments in the eyes of parents watching from the sidelines.
Somewhere along the way, "practice" turned into a place where progress is measured by who "beat" who that day. Parents cheer (or worse coach) from the side, unintentionally shifting their child's focus away from learning and towards performing for approval.
Here's the truth:
Practice is not about winning. Beating another kid in training doesn't mean much. It's a snapshot in time, not a scoreboard. Real growth shows up weeks and months down the line.
Coaching belongs to the coaches. Parents giving instruction from the sidelines can confuse kids, pull their focus in two directions, and make them hesitant rather than confident.
Kids need freedom to fail. When they glance over after a mistake and see concern or dread, it's stifles their ability to take risks and learn.
We want kids to build resilience, problem-solving, and confidence in themselves, not just skills to please a parent. Your role as a parent is vital, but it's best played in encouragement. Cheer for effort, celebrate consistency, and trust the coaches to handle the rest.
So next time you're at practice, remember, let the coaches coach, let the kids learn, and save your energy for cheering when it really counts, at the game, the tournament or the big test!
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